We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
You may now shotgun with the bride
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
