How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
Randomize
