Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Randomize
