at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
