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• (908): View more from New Jersey

  But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes

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• (252): View more from North Carolina

  We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?

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• (513): View more from Ohio

  the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.

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• (208): View more from Idaho

  This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?

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• (940): View more from Texas

  Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers

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• (704): View more from North Carolina

  The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.

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• (804): View more from Virginia

  I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?

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• (216): View more from Ohio

  blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester

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• (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.

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• (425): View more from Washington

  My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked

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• (850): View more from Florida

  Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies

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• (716): View more from New York

  He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.

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• (772): View more from Florida

  So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.

  (1-772): View more from Florida

  That was random, even for you Mom.

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• (416): View more from Toronto

  I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly

  (647): View more from Ontario

  Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying

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• (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress

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