You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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