I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Randomize
