Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
