You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
