ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I wish my penis had an off switch
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
