I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
