just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Randomize
