My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I just got carded by a ten year old.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
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