Old men and throwing up are my life now.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Randomize
