yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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