Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
