it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Randomize
