Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Randomize
