Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Randomize
