The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
I'm really busy with my period
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