Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
