They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Randomize
