Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Randomize
