I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Randomize