from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
