I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
You are the jesus of drinking
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
