K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
did i walk over a car last night?
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Just puked most of my soul out..
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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