Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
