I love black thongs
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize