how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
But theres a keg here and me gusta
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
