Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Randomize
