the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
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