i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Randomize
