I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
