What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
