Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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