Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
