Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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