Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
