Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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