Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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