thus making me awesome and them whores
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
