Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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