is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
