But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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