I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Randomize
