My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
