She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
You ate ashes out of my bong
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
