The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Randomize
