Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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