i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
