Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
