Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
