I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
