just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I touched a dick in church today
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
