school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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