Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I love having hate sex.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
