if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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