Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize