Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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