Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
