connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
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