The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
