He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
