You're my little dorito
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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