your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
