If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
